TWO WEEKS

I am stressed out!  Although sometimes I tend to stress about stressing so maybe my judgment of myself is a little skewed.  I really need to focus on the next 2.5 weeks.

We’re so close to the end, yet it seems so far.  I have the opportunity to be a proctor for Psych 100 next semester and I need to get a 3.0 to be eligible.  As of now I’m fine but I’m trying my best to get an even better GPA.

I most definitely started out in the swing of things this semester but now I’m hardly rocking.  It went by so very fast for me.

Now that the snow has fallen I feel the urge to be riding (snowboarding) everyday but I know that I just need to concentrate on school for two more weeks.  I have all of winter break to ride.  I need to balance out my work and play.  I’m holding on to one rule: “Find a happy medium”.

Her hair blocked most of her face.  I could just see her eye lashes fluttering; they were intrigued by the lecture.  The coat she wore had wrinkles and hair was everything but perfect.  This wasn't an issue for she was very abnormally gorgeous (I had hoped no one else would notice her beauty for I wanted to enjoy her through my eyes only) and I would have done immoral things to have her.  She had been sitting in the front of the room everyday sense I can remember.  She must have just wanted to face her back to everyone.  "How sexy," I said to myself.

The next day I sit.  She walks in and sits also.  I start to in vision her with less clothes on (I guess I just got bored with what I could physically "see").  She didn't seem to mind at all.  The professor asks me a question that I cannot answer.  Maybe had I been paying attention at all this could have been avoided.  Thank god; only three mins left for today.  I wait for her. We leave together.

Raymond Carver

It was a gloomy winter night.  She had just picked me up from somewhere.  It's not important.  She and I were contributing to an irritating silence.  The car was dirty.  It had a floor of trash instead of carpet.  She asked. "What is wrong?"  "Nothing." I said.

We do this to ourselves from time to time.  Maybe it thrills us.  I really couldn't say. You can make your own assumption.  I got the pipe and loaded a bowl from her bag.  This hardly helps the situation.  Yet it makes everything better.  We don't have to talk.  She said nothing.  I did the same.

The rest of the night was kind of a blur.  Not from the marijuana. I just can't stand to recollect my feelings.  The basement was my home.  Not much of a home; it was my friends basement.  At least we had our own bathroom.  The blankets pulled us into bed.  We didn't speak a word.  I turned my back to her.  She began to whimper. 

I got out of bed and poured a drink.

Halloween

This Halloween was so much different from any "normal" Halloween of mine.  The usual Halloween consists of me dressing up in a dumb and certainly uncomfortable outfit and getting black out drunk like an idiot. 

I hardly ever taste the sweetness of candy anymore.  That was the good old times when candy was just as much a part of Halloween as the booze is now.  I felt extra anti-social this year and did the complete opposite of what I would have usually done.  Every night this weekend I sat on the couch and watched movies, ate pizza, and drank beers with my lady.  Some were scary and some were drunken mistakes.  They were later noticed after the beer had run dry. 

I guess the fact that I had to work at seven in the morning on Sunday morning didn't help my reclusiveness.  This definitely played a part in my decision to stay back and not hang around with all the inch worms in downtown Missoula.

Do I feel like I missed out?  With the money I made and the money I saved I'd say "yeah" this Halloween totally sucked and I wish I could do it over.  I'd dress up as a crazy PETA activist and raise hell.